motherhood

By Carrie Glod

I always wanted to be a mom. I couldn’t wait. I was going to be the best mom ever. I was going to do it different then my mom. I was going to stay home. The house was going to always be clean. I wasn’t going to gain those extra pounds with each child. I was going to be this Godly, wise mom that her children adored! (Right!)

I had number 1 and things were going along pretty good. Breastfeeding even helped me loose the weight. She was a good baby and as cute as a button (of course!). Then I decided to have number two! My world was rocked! My expectations went on overload, not only by what I placed on myself, but what I felt from everyone else. I began trying to please everyone and do what I thought I had to- to do it “right”. To do what right? Everything! From feeding my children, potty training, disciplining them, staying organized at home, keeping physically fit, being a good wife, a good friend and all at the same time trying to nurture my relationship with Christ.

I couldn’t do it! I fell into a funk. I was depressed and dreaded the days. And then the guilt! I wanted to be a mom. I wanted these children! Why was I feeling this way? I cried out to God asking for some relief, some help. I thought I just needed to figure out a way to do it all better, but then God lead me to this verse: Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Just what I wanted and needed! Rest for my soul! This is where my journey began. I have continued to ask what does this look like? How do I place His yoke upon me? And as the seasons change I have faced new challenges in allowing rest for my soul!